some update

the bbq was fun...
thanz Sebastian for the invitation, thanz all of u for the fun i had...
and the funny powered faces...lolz...
the only nt fun part is Tony switch off my light when i am in the toliet...tt hell FREAK ME OUT...dun do tt again...
i almost cried...i am really scared off dark n i am NT KIDDING...

some thing is nt for me to comment on but dissappointed to noe...
I knew something will happen after she is gone...
but I did nt expect to be tt worst off...
things changes when she left my world...
things r nv the same...

sometime, once u lost someone or something they ain't coming back again...
no matter hw many pple sae time will heal but it a part of me tt was cut off literally...
dun tell me u understand...u dun...u dun understand hw it feel to be looking at her leaving further away from u day by day n nothing u can do to help...dun tell me urs is much worst off...i noe it hurts for u but u dun noe hw pain i am in, like i dun noe urs...so dun sae u UNDERSTAND...

to add on to the alreadi lost part, things changes...
pple changes...n it will nv be the same again...
i hate to noe, i am griefing for my lost n i am nt done wif tt dun add on to the alreadi hurting like hell wound...

i hell noe drinking is nt the wae...but like i care...i juz want to run away...
everything juz tigger off the pain, the scene in the proposal where the grandma is dying off...it juz make me cry when i thought she is really dying...
got to noe she onli acting, i juz got pissed off over a moive...haha...i noe it sound stupid...but can u dun play wif such stupid thing...it ain't funny for some...

bad dreamz...

I dreamt of my grandma ydae...my dreamz goes like tis: We r suppose to get out from the building for the reason I can't recall...I carry my grandma on my back n keep running...She juz say a word to me which was Thank you...all i noe is that i keep running down fleets of stairs n crying, n oso keep saying sorry to my grandma which I dunnoe why...As I run, she is getting weaker...Evenutally, She had passed on while I was carrying her which is to say she die in my care...That was when I woke up...I was tearing while I was sleeping so as to mean I was crying in my sleep...When I woke up sitting in the middle of the night crying again...It had been awhile since it happen...

Dinner & Dance

WOW, is the word for my D&D...it neither Dance nor Dinner, it was totally cam whoring...I only manage to eat the first 2 dishes, the rest of the time was drinking my glasses n glasses of red wine n photo taking session...I was super high...All I can tell u is our table had clear 4 bottles of red wine...Yes, I was part of the pple to help clear the wines...lolz...But I was nt wasted...I totally noe wat I was doing...after the D&D, We still join Gerald in Balaclava...So the result is another 2 bottles of beer dwn my stomach...lolz...it on Gerald...Thank Gerald for the treat....He does nt look very sober lolz...I noe u all will nt believe tt i was nt drunk when I said so...So I dun bother to explain, I can tell u I noe when to stop n hw to go home tt fine enough...After all the drinking, no puking n hangover for me as I am really nt drunk...the next day still wake up at 9am to edit my D&D photos den loaded it into facebook which is a muz for me...lolz...I was super tired after the D&D...I was very high so tt explained the free hugs photos in facebook...lolz...got to go, i still nd to study...ciaoz...